Wonder Boy In Jeopardy!

It's not often I burden you fine folks with personal crap, but desperate measures are called for. My beloved Alma Mater, Arkansas Tech University, often referred to as the Harvard of West Central Arkansas, is poised to make a terrible mistake. A committee is determined to improve the University's appeal by changing the sports mascots.

Concerned over having different team names and mascots for men's and women's sports, Arkansas Tech is considering doing away with the nicknames Wonder Boys and Golden Suns. The school is also worried the name Wonder Boys might be hurting recruiting.

"It's one of those things that has been kind of a constant theme on our campus every few years," said Sam Strasner, an assistant to the university spokesperson.

The branding initiative committee is examing a slew of other generic, lack-luster, gender-neutral mascots.

Idiots.

Rich is the history of the Wonder Boy:

In 1919, Arkansas Tech's football team upset the highly-favored Jonesboro Aggies (now Arkansas State University) 14-0 behind a pair of 70-yard punt returns for touchdowns and two point-after kicks by 17-year-old quarterback John Tucker. The Jonesboro team had staked claim to the mystical state football championship prior to the game. Henry Loesch, sports editor for the Arkansas Gazette in Little Rock, covered the game and coined the name "Wonder Boys" in complimenting the Tech team, then known as the Aggies, in his post-game story. Tech's men's athletic teams have been known as the Wonder Boys ever since and Tucker was hereafter labeled as "The Original Wonder Boy." He went on to play on the University of Alabama's Rose Bowl team in 1931 and later returned to Tech to teach, coach and serve as the school's athletic director between 1933 and 1968.

And God have mercy on the souls of those who upset the ghost of John Tucker.

I've a personal stake in keeping the Wonder Boy mascot, since I was lucky enough to be a part of the team that won the coveted 1999 Gulf South Conference championship. I wear the mascot in my skin and in my soul. I am a Wonder Boy like I'm a husband, a friend, a father.

If you would like to express your thoughts about the Wonder Boy, click here to take a quick survey while there's still a chance. The survey is not limited to students or alumni. Please, help save the Wonder Boys.