Unicorn Universe

This, um, piece ran a while back, and shame on me for not posting it. Here's Emily Nipps with answers to some common questions about unicorns:

Where do unicorns come from?

The origin of the unicorn is as mysterious as the beast itself. Ancient Greek historians wrote of unicorn discovery in India, while German scientists found prehistoric unicorn bones in 1663. The most popular and credible theory, however, is that unicorns migrated to America long ago from the Land of Awesome.

Can unicorns fly?

No, you're thinking of a Pegasus, which is not magical and has no horn. Unicorns are so fleet on foot, they don't need wings. Plus, they know karate.

Are unicorns magical?

Very, but most of the magic is located in the horn, which has the power to neutralize poison. This comes in handy when, say, one of your enemies hands you a cup of apple juice with poison in it. Let your unicorn stick its horn in your cup, and the juice is ready to drink!