That Voice In The Shower

Hank Stuever on Robert Goulet: In the shower, any man is Robert Goulet.

On a clear day, rise and look around youuuu, and you'll see who you arrre. . . . Somewhere, my love, there will be songs to sing. . . . No never would I leave you, at allll. . . .

Out of the shower, though, no man is Robert Goulet, because there isn't that kind of singing star anymore, or really even that sort of man. They don't make them that tall, that blue-eyed, that sunny; they don't all have preternaturally black mustaches forever and ever. You step out of the tile acoustics and into America's never-ending teen talent show auditions, a world of imitators imitating imitators, the Michael Buble types.