The Surrogate

Leonora LaPeter Anton: She's walking up the sun-streaked sidewalk in front of her doctor's office, trying to be positive.

I have a baby inside me, Carolyn Zinn tells herself. Ten days ago, a doctor placed two embryos in her uterus. I must have at least one growing in there.

But as she nears the beveled glass door, her confidence drains away. In the last week she has taken a dozen home pregnancy tests, and every one has been negative.

Now she is at the doctor's office to get the official word. What if it's negative too?

Try not to think that way, she tells herself. Think about all the times you've succeeded, all the life you have given.

Carolyn wants to be pregnant. She wants to give birth. She wants to watch the faces of the parents as they cuddle the newborn she has given them.

She'll be 40 this year. This may be her last chance.

Please Lord, she says to herself, opening the door.

Just one more time.