Ruining Death of a Racehorse

Over on storyboard, Jones has an essay on why W.C. Heinz's Death of a Racehorse is so good.

I got to thinking about why I like that story. I think it's his strange and inconsistent use of verb tense, which is all over the map. Anyhow, I wondered what it would look like if the tense was more consistent throughout. I took a quick shot at an edit, just to see what it looked like. Figured I'd share. How does it change the story?

They were going headed to the post for the sixth race at Jamaica, two year olds, some making their first starts, to go five and a half furlongs for a purse of four thousand dollars. They were moving moved slowly down the backstretch toward the gate, some of them cantering, others walking, and in the press box they had stopped their working or

their kidding to watch, most of them interested in one horse.

"Air Lift," Jim Roach said. "Full brother of Assault."

Assault, who won the triple crown … making this one too, by Bold Venture, himself a Derby winner, out of Igual, herself by the great Equipoise … Great names in the breeding line … and now the little guy making his first start, perhaps the start of another great career.

They were off well, although Air Lift was fifth. They were moving moved toward the first turn, and now Air Lift was fourth. They were goingwent into the turn, and now Air Lift was starting to go, third perhaps, when suddenly he slowed, a horse stopping, and below in the stands you could hear a sudden cry, as the rest left him, still trying to

run but limping, his jockey — Dave Gorman — half falling, half sliding off.

"He broke a leg!" somebody, holding binoculars to his eyes, shouted in the press box. "He broke a leg!"

Down below they were roaring roared for the rest, coming down the stretch now, but in the infield men were runningran toward the turn, runningran toward the colt and the boy standing beside him, alone. There was aA station wagon

moving moved around the track toward them, and then, in a moment, the big green van that they call the horse ambulance.

"Gorman was crying like a baby," one of them, coming out of the jockey room, said. "He said he must have stepped in a hole, but you should have seen him crying."

"It's his left front ankle," Dr. J.G. Catlett, the veterinarian, was sayingsaid. "It's a compound fracture; and I'm waiting for confirmation from Mr. Hirsch to destroy him."

He was standing stood outside one of the stables beyond the backstretch, and he had justput in a call to Kentucky where Max Hirsch, the trainer, and Robert Kleber, the owner, are attending attended the yearling sales.

"When will you do it?" one of them said.

"Right as soon as I can," the doctor said. "As soon as I get confirmation. If it was an ordinary horse I'd done it right there."

He walked across the road and around another barn to where they had the horse. The horse was still in the van, about twenty stable hands in dungarees and sweat-stained shirts, bare-headed or wearing old caps, standing stood around quietly and watching watched with Dr. M.A. Gilman, the assistant veterinarian.

"We might as well get him out of the van," Catlett said, "before we give him the novocaine. It'll be a little better out in the air."

The boy in the van with the colt led him out then, the colt limping, tossing his head a little, the blood running down and covering his left foreleg. When they saw him, standing there outside the van now, the boy holding him, they started talking softly.

"Full brother of Assault." … "It don't make no difference now. He's done." … "But damn, what a grand little horse." … "Aint he a horse?"

"It's a funny thing," Catlett said. "All the cripples that go out, they never break a leg. It always happens to a good-legged horse."

A man, gray-haired and rather stout, wearing brown slacks and a blue shirt, walked up.

"Then I better not send for the wagon yet?" the man said.

"No," Catlett said. "Of course, you might just as well. Max Hirsch may say no, but I doubt it."

"I don't know," the man said.

"There'd be time in the morning," Catlett said.

"But in this hot weather–" the man said.

They had sponged off the colt, after they had givengave him the shot to deaden the pain, and now he stood, feeding quietly from some hay they had placed at his feet. In the distance you could hear the roar of the crowd in the

grandstand, but beyond it and above it you could hear thunder and see the occasional flash of lightning.

When Catlett came back the next time he was hurryinghurried, nodding his head and waving his hands. Now the thunder grew louder, the flashes of lightning brighter, and now rain was starting started to fall.

"All right," he said, shoutingshouted to Gilman. "Max Hirsch talked to Mr. Kleberg. We've got the confirmation."

They moved the curious back, the rain falling faster now, and they moved the colt over close to a pile of loose bricks. Gilman had the halter and Catlett had the gun, shaped like a bell with the handle at the top. This bell he placed, the crowd silent, on the colt's forehead, just between the eyes. The colt stood still and then Catlett, with the hammer in his other hand, struck the handle of the bell. There was a short, sharp sound and the colt toppled onto his left side, his eyes staring, his legs straight out, the free legs quivering.

"Aw —-" someone said.

That was all they said. They worked quickly, the two vets removing the broken bones as evidence for the insurance company, the crowd silently watching. Then the heavens opened, the rain pouringpoured down, the lightning flashingflashed, and they rushed for the cover of the stables, leaving alone on his side near the pile of bricks, as the rain runningran off his hide, dead an hour and a quarter after his first start, Air Lift, son of Bold Venture, full brother of Assault.