Van locked? I’ve just the thing!

Gangrey exclusive from Alex Zesch:

It wasn’t a congratulations on your new baby visit.

The woman said something about her van and her dog was inside and her insurance company. I gathered she wanted to use the phone, although she never said that.

I handed her my cell phone and stayed nearby in the front yard, like the small, distressed woman with the massive knee brace was going to run off with it. As she got the runaround from 21st Century Insurance and I pretended to be picking up, we were both getting annoyed.

Did she want to walk back there? Yes.

She had a wire hanger stuck in the door, which wasn’t quite closed but locked all the same. I wiggled it back out then checked to see if any other doors were unlocked. As if she hadn’t.

As she grew more frustrated with her call, I tried to slide the hanger between the door and the window, like they do on TV.

She had stopped to get the morning papers because her friend had been shot over the weekend, she said.

Huh, I said.

She NEVER stopped to get the papers, she said.

The hanger was too thick. What’s long and flat and has some kind of hook?

I was trained in page design in my first job in Memphis. The girl who trained me gave me a pica pole. I never used it. It’s been in my tool box because it makes straight lines.

It’s long and flat and has some kind of hook. I went and got it. It slid right in between the window and the door. The small hook on the end found something to hook and I pulled. It slipped off. Then again. After four or five tries, something popped, and the door opened.

I gave her that look my friend Bjorn and I gave each other hundreds of times one night drinking until it became annoying, where you raise both eyebrows and do a quick nod.

Thanks.

You’re welcome.

She grabbed her Times and her Trib from the side mirror and climbed in.

Thanks so much. Have a nice day.

I looked at my pica pole and then at her van. That was awesome.